Nickname

Kid at the park: Hi. I'm Connor.
Jack, with great authority: My name is Jacob.
Mom: Your name isn't Jacob!
Jack, to Connor: Well technically my name is Jack but Jacob is my nickname.

Jobs for Grownups

Roger: I am going to be a football player when I grows up.
Jack: I am going to be a marathoner when I grow up.

NOT good

Jack: 41, 41, 41
Mom: What is that?
Jack: A place. 414141 Route Locklull Lane.
Mom: What is that?
Jack: A terrible place.
Mom: Oh, yeah, why?
Jack: The parents. They let the kids play shooting video games. It is NOT good. Not good at all.

Music Snob

Jack puts on The Wiggles CD.

Jack: This is pretty bad.
Dad: Yes, it is definitely horrible.
Jack: Why did you buy it?
Dad: I didn't, someone bought it for you.
Jack: You need to tell them not to waste their money next time. Let's put some good music back on.

Seagulls

Drew: Jack, please! You are being so loud. It is really annoying.
Jack: I can't help it. Just like gulls. Seagulls just can't help being annoying.

A Good Artist

Jack: Mom, will you hold my paint brush for a second?
Tara: Sure. Why? What do you need?
Jack: A tissue. A good artist always blows his nose.

NPR

There is a story about Apple and Steve Jobs on the radio.
Jack: Daddy. Be quiet and turn this up. I want to hear this whole thing.

Later, a story about fighting in Afghanistan.
Jack: Wow. So that guy escaped but he didn't have a weapon. How do you think he did that? I'll bet he needed a gun and was sad he didn't have one. I could have given him one of my pirate swords but I don't have any guns.

During a story about a fire in a garment factory at the turn of the century:
Jack: You don't have to turn this off. It doesn't make me sad or scared. Well I guess it is sad that all those people got burned. Can we make sure our fire alarms work when we get home?