Tara: What about me? Do I get a hug?
Jack: Of course! I don't want you to be chopped liver.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
McDonald's
Jack: Mom, can we go to McDonald's tonight to the Drive Thru so I can get a Happy Meal?
Tara: Hmmm... Well... You have been really good and I think you deserve a treat. What are you going to get?
Jack: Well last time I had chicken nuggets. I think I'll try something else. I want a grilled cheese.
Tara: They don't have grilled cheese at McDonald's.
Jack: Oh. How about a turkey sandwich?
Tara: Nope.
Jack: Bologna?
Tara: No.
Jack: Do they have burgers?
Tara: Yes, they do.
Jack: Okay. I'll have a burger with cheese and guacamole.
Tara: They don't have guacamole. They have ketchup and mustard, lettuce, tomato, pickles...
Jack: What is wrong with that place? I guess I'll just have chicken nuggets.
The Happy Meal comes in a bag.
Jack: Where is the box? Last time I got a box.
Tara: I don't know. I guess now you get apples and french fries so the box wasn't big enough.
Jack: I liked it better when it was a box with just the chicken nuggets and the apples for the kids, when they gave the french fries to the parents. I don't even like the french fries. I feel disappointed. Let's go to Noodles and Company next time.
Tara: Hmmm... Well... You have been really good and I think you deserve a treat. What are you going to get?
Jack: Well last time I had chicken nuggets. I think I'll try something else. I want a grilled cheese.
Tara: They don't have grilled cheese at McDonald's.
Jack: Oh. How about a turkey sandwich?
Tara: Nope.
Jack: Bologna?
Tara: No.
Jack: Do they have burgers?
Tara: Yes, they do.
Jack: Okay. I'll have a burger with cheese and guacamole.
Tara: They don't have guacamole. They have ketchup and mustard, lettuce, tomato, pickles...
Jack: What is wrong with that place? I guess I'll just have chicken nuggets.
The Happy Meal comes in a bag.
Jack: Where is the box? Last time I got a box.
Tara: I don't know. I guess now you get apples and french fries so the box wasn't big enough.
Jack: I liked it better when it was a box with just the chicken nuggets and the apples for the kids, when they gave the french fries to the parents. I don't even like the french fries. I feel disappointed. Let's go to Noodles and Company next time.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
conversationalist
Tara: Jack, can we please turn off the tv now?
Jack: Why?
Tara: I'd like to have a conversation with you.
Jack: Well... Can we just wait until this part is over?
Tara: Okay. That's a good deal.
After the show ends
Jack: Okay, mom. I'm ready for this conversation.
Tara: Oh. Um. Well, how was your day?
Jack: Look, this doesn't sound like it is going to be a good conversation. Is there really something you wanted to talk about or did you just want me to turn off the tv? I mean I'd rather go play now.
Jack: Why?
Tara: I'd like to have a conversation with you.
Jack: Well... Can we just wait until this part is over?
Tara: Okay. That's a good deal.
After the show ends
Jack: Okay, mom. I'm ready for this conversation.
Tara: Oh. Um. Well, how was your day?
Jack: Look, this doesn't sound like it is going to be a good conversation. Is there really something you wanted to talk about or did you just want me to turn off the tv? I mean I'd rather go play now.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Responsibility
Jack: Mommy, where is my toy?
Tara: Jack, I told you that if you were going to bring that with you, it was going to be your responsibility. It is in the car somewhere. You are just going to have to look for it.
Later...
Tara: Jack, have you seen my keys anywhere?
Jack: Mommy, keys are your responsibility. You are just going to have to look. I am sure they are around here somewhere.
Tara: Jack, I told you that if you were going to bring that with you, it was going to be your responsibility. It is in the car somewhere. You are just going to have to look for it.
Later...
Tara: Jack, have you seen my keys anywhere?
Jack: Mommy, keys are your responsibility. You are just going to have to look. I am sure they are around here somewhere.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
coffee
On the way to a play date, Jack and his dad stop to get coffee.
Dad: I don't know, Jack. The line looks kind of long. We don't want to be late.
Jack: Dad, you need to get coffee. When you don't have coffee, you get crazy.
Dad: I don't know, Jack. The line looks kind of long. We don't want to be late.
Jack: Dad, you need to get coffee. When you don't have coffee, you get crazy.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
broccoli
Jack: Mom, look, I ate all of my broccoli!
(While looking at Tara, Drew slips another piece of broccoli onto his plate)
Jack, looking back at his plate: What?! All the broccoli was gone! This is INSANE!
Jack, looking at Drew: Oh, you are something else!
(While looking at Tara, Drew slips another piece of broccoli onto his plate)
Jack, looking back at his plate: What?! All the broccoli was gone! This is INSANE!
Jack, looking at Drew: Oh, you are something else!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Helicopter Pilot
Jack: I know how to work this.
Drew: How? Did you fly one of these in 'Nam?
Jack: No, I flew one in the mid 50's.
Drew: How? Did you fly one of these in 'Nam?
Jack: No, I flew one in the mid 50's.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
cul-de-sac
Karen: This circle of pavement is a great place to ride your bike, isn't it? It's called a cul-de-sac but I don't really know what that means.
Jack: Actually, I think it means circle in French.
Jack: Actually, I think it means circle in French.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Planning for the Future
Jack: Can Zoe come for a sleepover and bring her bed?
Tara: We can ask Zoe's mom and dad but they won't be able to bring her bed. She could sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag.
Jack: Oh. Well maybe Grammy and Pap-pap and Nana and Grampa can come for a sleep over.
Tara: Where would they stay? We don't have enough bedrooms for everyone.
Jack: When I'm a grown up I'm going to find someone to marry and live in a big house that has enough bedrooms for our family and all of our friends.
Tara: What kind of job will you have?
Jack: We will go door to door and car to car.
Tara: What do you mean? What kind or work will you do to earn money to pay for your big house?
Jack: Yes, I will hold the sign and my wife will hold the bucket.
Tara: We can ask Zoe's mom and dad but they won't be able to bring her bed. She could sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag.
Jack: Oh. Well maybe Grammy and Pap-pap and Nana and Grampa can come for a sleep over.
Tara: Where would they stay? We don't have enough bedrooms for everyone.
Jack: When I'm a grown up I'm going to find someone to marry and live in a big house that has enough bedrooms for our family and all of our friends.
Tara: What kind of job will you have?
Jack: We will go door to door and car to car.
Tara: What do you mean? What kind or work will you do to earn money to pay for your big house?
Jack: Yes, I will hold the sign and my wife will hold the bucket.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Expert
Jack explains in great detail how the firefighter controls work on the elevator we are riding.
Tara: That's right. How did you know that?
Jack: I'm an expert on humans.
Tara: That's right. How did you know that?
Jack: I'm an expert on humans.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Fourth birthday present
From March 12
Aunt Amy: Tell Jamie what presents you got for your birthday.
Jack: I got a baby brother.
Aunt Amy: Tell Jamie what presents you got for your birthday.
Jack: I got a baby brother.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Lions
Jack: Did you know there are lions in Australia? They use their enormous powerful jaws to chomp carrots.
Tara: Are you just pretending? Lions don't live in Australia. And lions are carnivores. That means they eat meat. They don't eat carrots.
Jack: Well I use my enormous powerful jaws to chomp carrots.
Tara: Are you just pretending? Lions don't live in Australia. And lions are carnivores. That means they eat meat. They don't eat carrots.
Jack: Well I use my enormous powerful jaws to chomp carrots.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Mommy's Belly
Jack : Mommy! Why is your belly all squiggly like that?
Tara: Oh, it's okay. This happens sometimes to mommies when their bellies stretch out from growing a baby inside.
Jack: Wow... Well I still love you and your belly because you can grow babies like me and Will.
Tara: Oh, it's okay. This happens sometimes to mommies when their bellies stretch out from growing a baby inside.
Jack: Wow... Well I still love you and your belly because you can grow babies like me and Will.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
That sneaky Easter outfit
Tara : My mom got Will a really cute Easter outfit. With the way he is growing, I hope it will still fit him by then.
Jack: I want a cute Easter outfit.
Tara: She got you one too.
Jack: Where is it? I didn't see it!
Tara: It's hanging in your closet.
Jack: Well I didn't see it because it sneaks out at night. And it goes outside to play in the park.
Jack: I want a cute Easter outfit.
Tara: She got you one too.
Jack: Where is it? I didn't see it!
Tara: It's hanging in your closet.
Jack: Well I didn't see it because it sneaks out at night. And it goes outside to play in the park.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Adjust your brain
Jack, while getting dried off after the shower, "Daddy, stop. I need to adjust your brain." Jack puts his hands on the sides of Drew's head and says "doot, doot, doot", while making kid-strength chiropractic adjustments. "There. Much better."
Friday, March 18, 2011
Bacon
Jack: What a great birthday party!
Tara: I'm glad you liked it. What was your favorite part?
Jack: The pirate food.
Tara: What pirate food?
Jack: The bacon.
Later...
Jack: I love bacon.
Drew: I love bacon too. But do you know what I love more than bacon? You!
Jack: Do you know what I love more than you? Bacon!
Tara: I'm glad you liked it. What was your favorite part?
Jack: The pirate food.
Tara: What pirate food?
Jack: The bacon.
Later...
Jack: I love bacon.
Drew: I love bacon too. But do you know what I love more than bacon? You!
Jack: Do you know what I love more than you? Bacon!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
super powers
from March 1, 2011
Jack, in an admiring tone: Elijah has lasers in his eyes and he can see at night. Tyler can lift up houses and cars.
Drew: Well what super powers do you have?
Jack: I can't do anything special. I can't lift buildings or anything.
Drew: I'll bet you can do things Elijah and Tyler can't do.
Jack: No. Not really. Maybe when I'm bigger.
Tara: Like when you are 4 on March 10?
Jack: No. Probably when I'm 5 like they are.
Jack, in an admiring tone: Elijah has lasers in his eyes and he can see at night. Tyler can lift up houses and cars.
Drew: Well what super powers do you have?
Jack: I can't do anything special. I can't lift buildings or anything.
Drew: I'll bet you can do things Elijah and Tyler can't do.
Jack: No. Not really. Maybe when I'm bigger.
Tara: Like when you are 4 on March 10?
Jack: No. Probably when I'm 5 like they are.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Birthday present
from February 15, 2011
Jack: Mama, do you think I can get a cowboy costume?
Me: Sure. That would be a good present for your birthday.
Jack: I'll need size 4T.
Me: Okay.
Jack: Do they make cowgirl costumes?
Me: Yes, they do.
Jack: Do you think they make them in size 30T for you?
Jack: Mama, do you think I can get a cowboy costume?
Me: Sure. That would be a good present for your birthday.
Jack: I'll need size 4T.
Me: Okay.
Jack: Do they make cowgirl costumes?
Me: Yes, they do.
Jack: Do you think they make them in size 30T for you?
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Lazy Kids
from February 15, 2011
Drew to Tara while she is pulling out of parking spot: What are you waiting for?
Tara: I heard kids but I couldn't see them and I just wanted to make sure they weren't walking by. Jack: Yeah, there are a lot of lazy kids out today.
Drew: What do you think we should do about that?
Jack: Bump them with our car.
Drew: You think lazy kids should be bumped with cars?
Jack: Yes.
Drew to Tara while she is pulling out of parking spot: What are you waiting for?
Tara: I heard kids but I couldn't see them and I just wanted to make sure they weren't walking by. Jack: Yeah, there are a lot of lazy kids out today.
Drew: What do you think we should do about that?
Jack: Bump them with our car.
Drew: You think lazy kids should be bumped with cars?
Jack: Yes.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Melancholy
from February 4, 2011
Jack, while arranging his stuffed animals in his bed before going to sleep: I'm putting red panda in the front. He hasn't been in the front in years and he's so melancholy.
As Drew and Tara laugh, Jack: It's not funny! It's not nice to laugh at people's sad feelings.
Jack, while arranging his stuffed animals in his bed before going to sleep: I'm putting red panda in the front. He hasn't been in the front in years and he's so melancholy.
As Drew and Tara laugh, Jack: It's not funny! It's not nice to laugh at people's sad feelings.
Monday, February 28, 2011
A few more oldies but goodies
from January 12, 2011
Jack is sitting completely still, staring intently out the car window at the trees.
Tara: The snow looks pretty on the trees, doesn't it?
Jack: Yeah. Today the snow is white but sometimes it is pink and sometimes it is blue.
Tara: No, snow is always white, buddy.
Jack: I'm imagining, mom. And it would better if the snow was pink.
from November 12, 2010
After requesting that we watch a "broadcast" tonight, Jack watches Curious George rig a water pump out of a turkey baster, duct tape and a hose and says: "That George is money."
from November 4, 2010
Jack: Mama, it's time for you to get your head out of that book and start paying attention to more important things like me!
from November 2, 2010
Jack: You are both dirty rascals! And mommy, you are a devil woman!
from September 18, 2010
Tara: How was your day, Jack?
Jack: Great! We saw this little dog on a walk and I said to daddy, 'My, that little dog is quite lively.'
from August 13, 2010
In the car, listening to the radio, Jack: What is this song, mama?
Tara: It's called Rebel Yell by Billy Idol.
Jack: Wow. That Billy Idol is a cool guy.
The next song that comes on is Melloncamp's Jack and Diane.
Jack: Mom! This song is about me! I'm gonna be a football star!
Jack is sitting completely still, staring intently out the car window at the trees.
Tara: The snow looks pretty on the trees, doesn't it?
Jack: Yeah. Today the snow is white but sometimes it is pink and sometimes it is blue.
Tara: No, snow is always white, buddy.
Jack:
from November 12, 2010
After requesting that we watch a "broadcast" tonight, Jack watches Curious George rig a water pump out of a turkey baster, duct tape and a hose and says: "That George is money."
from November 4, 2010
Jack: Mama, it's time for you to get your head out of that book and start paying attention to more important things like me!
from November 2, 2010
Jack: You are both dirty rascals! And mommy, you are a devil woman!
from September 18, 2010
Tara: How was your day, Jack?
Jack: Great! We saw this little dog on a walk and I said to daddy, 'My, that little dog is quite lively.'
from August 13, 2010
In the car, listening to the radio, Jack: What is this song, mama?
Tara: It's called Rebel Yell by Billy Idol.
Jack: Wow. That Billy Idol is a cool guy.
The next song that comes on is Melloncamp's Jack and Diane.
Jack: Mom! This song is about me! I'm gonna be a football star!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Irony
from April 19, 2010
Drew: The guy on that motorcycle is wearing the jersey of a football player whose NFL career was ended because of a huge motorcycle accident.
Tara: Do you think he recognizes the irony in that?
Drew: He probably doesn't know what irony means.
Jack: I know what irony means. It means you will need an ambulance.
Drew: The guy on that motorcycle is wearing the jersey of a football player whose NFL career was ended because of a huge motorcycle accident.
Tara: Do you think he recognizes the irony in that?
Drew: He probably doesn't know what irony means.
Jack: I know what irony means. It means you will need an ambulance.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Some blasts from the past
from March 4, 2010
Todd: What'll it be? Cowboy? Champ? Ranger? Sparky? Slugger? Sport?
Jack: I'm Slow Cooker
from February 26, 2010
Jack: Mama! I love your pony tail! When I was a little girl, I had a pony tail, too.
from October 14, 2009
Jack chose a giraffe costume from the consignment shop today. The owner of the shop kept saying it was a nice horse costume. As we left, Jack says, "Mama, that lady is silly. This is not a horse. It's a zebra."
from June 24, 2009
Jack singing: "on that farm he had a pink giraffe." He laughs hysterically and says, "Mama, that's crazy. The pink giraffe lives at the pizza restaurant."
from April 28, 2009
Jack at bedtime: "Mum mum, there's a bug on the ceiling. He wants a drink and cashews and two stories."
Todd: What'll it be? Cowboy? Champ? Ranger? Sparky? Slugger? Sport?
Jack: I'm Slow Cooker
from February 26, 2010
Jack: Mama! I love your pony tail! When I was a little girl, I had a pony tail, too.
from October 14, 2009
Jack chose a giraffe costume from the consignment shop today. The owner of the shop kept saying it was a nice horse costume. As we left, Jack says, "Mama, that lady is silly. This is not a horse. It's a zebra."
from June 24, 2009
Jack singing: "on that farm he had a pink giraffe." He laughs hysterically and says, "Mama, that's crazy. The pink giraffe lives at the pizza restaurant."
from April 28, 2009
Jack at bedtime: "Mum mum, there's a bug on the ceiling. He wants a drink and cashews and two stories."
Welcome!
After much encouragement from family and friends, we have started a blog dedicated to the Wise Words of Jack, often fondly called Jackisms. I've been cataloging these practically since the day he started speaking. Hopefully, reading these will brighten your day and give you some insight into our life with this surprisingly and often hilariously verbal kid. (For the record, we blame NPR.)
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